I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
