Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
