so explain again why im purple
no
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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