Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just had sex on a roof
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
