we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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