i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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