Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
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dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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