Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
