I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
