When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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