I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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