I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
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I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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