So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
