where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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