This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dear god my vagina.
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