"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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