u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
