have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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