I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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