I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
