Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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