New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
