The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize