so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dear god my vagina.
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