I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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