he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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