i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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