So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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