I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
