Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
