I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
