No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
