Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
