Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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