You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize