i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
