Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
