I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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