It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize