i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
