Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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