It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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