its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
