she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She told me I should be a condom model.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize