I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
