Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
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Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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