The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
