I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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