I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
