never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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