He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
