i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize