I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
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If I die, sorry about rent.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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