There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
