i just made my gag reflex go away.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
