Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
