my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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