Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize