xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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